You're a Show-Stopper; Jaw-Dropper

Let's waste time
Do nothing at all
Because here with you
Is just where I belong
We're just part-time lovers
Forget about after
Let's live in the moment

Let's stop time
Do what we want to
Living in memories
of times: of me and you
It'll soon be tucked away
Words between us won't stay
Forgotten November

Let's kill time
It never showed me how
Murderers. Tick. Tock.
It's not helping much now
Part-time lovers, life-long friends
Let's make it to the end
And let time die alone

Between You and I

Inspired by a song, and a combination of things. Something I went through, someone who I don't talk to, and something I do.
--

Between you and I
We had shared something -
Special

They didn't believe us
They tried to break us
Told us it wasn't love

They wouldn't leave us
They tried to hurt us
Please, just leave us alone

But you took their word
And moved on from me
Leaving me here -

Empty space surrounds me
I told you, I'm sorry
These earphones whisper
Endless love songs unheard

Between you and I
You're trying to fill
The empty space around you
But between you and I
She doesn't do it -
Like you do
Between you and I
I'm still holding -
Onto our memories

Of times, when I said
I loved you
Of times, when you said
You loved me

I Can't See

I thought...maybe writing from your point of view, I could see what I did wrong. You won't tell me, you won't even have a decent conversation with me. Maybe I should do what he did, and just stop trying. Hey, maybe we just weren't good enough for you.
--

I see her sitting there
Down the hall way
Frantically scribbling
Scribbling of the past
Scribbling to fix
The bond that was broken

She often asks what went
Through my mind when
I pushed her away

Even I don't know
The answer to that simple
Yet heart-breaking question

I just did what I usually did
Love them and leave them
With no sense of regret
Love them and leave them
Was all that I knew

Lies I've said, promises made
Tell them they're special
Lies I've made, promises said
Within the very words
"I love you...I love you."

I see her sitting there
Down the lonely hall
Frantically scribbling
And the look on her face
So hurt, so broken and
Yet I still look to my friends...
And smile.

Dreams

Dreams are what makes us human. Dreams are what makes us sane. But what if your dreams were so far-fetched that some would call you insane?

"Others laugh at my insanity, but I laugh at what they can't see." - Tang Yin

You can dream a whole new world, where troubles disappear. You can dream happy thoughts like dancing ponies, singing elves or sunshine, lollipops. Or... you can have nightmares.

Lately, I've been waking up in the middle of the night, with dreams that I can't tell whether they are horrors or not. Somehow I know that I should be scared, but I'm not. The other night I dreamt that it was the end of November again, beginning of December when my grandmother passed away. This time however, I didn't meet her. She didn't come and save my day like before and this time, I was actually scared.

Did I really need her to save my day back then? Was this a sign from my deceased grandmother saying that I made a very stupid choice? Or was it just another sign telling me that karma is coming to get me...
I don't know.

I'm sorry...Grandmother. I never was the perfect grandchild, I made some mistakes. We all have.

Another dream last night, again I did not know her. I walked by as if we never met, and somehow, watching from afar, I could see there was a smile on my face. I reached out to myself. I wanted to ask, "Are you truly happy? Or are you trying to put on a show for her?"

Before I got a chance to answer myself, the sound of my screaming cellphone awakens me.

Bits and Pieces

I wanted to dedicate this to a friend who I just met earlier this year. Here are some words for her:
"You're truly amazing. I knew that for once I did something right because I got to know you. You're someone special. You know just the right words to say, and sometimes I'm just there with a stupid smile because there are no words to describe how you've changed my life. Thank you."
--

This feeling you give me
Makes you the only one I see
Feelings so damn familiar
I can't seem to remember...

There are days when I long for her touch
And days when I miss her so much
But now that I found you
My heart beats for you

I wish I knew what you're feeling
If it's me you're thinking
'Cause I'm stupid, naive about love
Believing that love is just enough

You picked up pieces of my heart
Within you I saw a new start
I'll shed no more tears over her
'Cause she can't be what I'm living for
...

The words 'I love you' linger
On these lips of mine
Please, never say goodbye
Sing for you, my whole-hearted prayers

Remember Remember, Back to November

Dedicated to someone. They left nothing but memories to hold onto. Can't hate them...Can't love them anymore either. Here's to the lies we made for ourselves.
--

Remember when I said
I'd never fall for you
Remember when we said
The sky would come crashing down
before I do.

Remember the tears that
you wiped away
Remember the smiles that
seem to always be there
and never fade

Where are you now?
Seems like your heart's gone
Gone with the heartless wind
Gone with the gentle breeze

Memories that I once held
So dear to my heart
Are now so cruel, so distant
We both knew from the start
That some things aren't meant

But from you I have sinned
Given up a brother's faith
To pursue sinful love,
With my wretched actions
I have broken faith

From the moment I placed my lips
Against yours, I knew that
Someday, Somewhere...
Debts have to be paid
"Repent for your sins."

There's no need to repent
For I lost everything
And everything was you

It's Too Early To Be Drunk

I sit here alone listening
To the rush of an ocean's wave
To the buzz of a fly's wing
I sit here alone looking
As the wilting flowers wilt
As the fading songs sing
Laughter surrounds me
But inside it's sadness
“I sit here with company
And yet I feel so alone.”
–
Blood pools on the tiled floor
I look down, I grow weak
My vision blurs, I can not see
Is it my blood?
I can't tell for sure
I stare at my tainted hands
These tainted hands, caught red handed
Looking up I catch sight a demon

“Look what you've done,
You wretched child.
Look at what you've become.”
Whispers start to fill my head
All accusing me of things
I had never said
Dropping to my knees
to the growing pool of blood
I slam my fist and shout to him
“Shut up. Shut up. Enough's enough.
I have sinned as much as you have loved.”

I raise my hands, covered in blood
Covered in sins, sins that I
Have committed; sins I've denied
Sins... that we all have tried.
–
I wake up from the awful dream
Wondering if it was reality
“It felt so real, that can't be right”
I pinched myself in the midst of night
Pain, a usual friend, comes to visit
I step out of bed, looking around
I look into the mirror now
Covered in blood?
Yes I am.
Covered in whose blood?
The blood...of ones I loved.
–
“Preposterous,” Pete shouts
“Such a fable of a tale,
Don't pull this shit with me.
Let me remind you, Hae
It's too early to be drunk.”
“Yes,” I nod with my glass at hand
“It's too early to be sober.”

Self Demons

Pacing here, writing in agony
Waiting here for what I couldn't see
The demon of temptation, smiles and smirks
Within the shadows, he awaits and lurks

"Abraxas!" I shout, turning away
Hoping under God's will I won't be swayed

"Everyone lies, what's wrong with that?
Can't you see? It's nothing abstract
She's lying to him; he's lying to her,
It's nothing out of the ordinary if you may concur."

"No, no, that's not right. It can't be true,
You don't know what they've been through."
He approaches me with sinister eyes
And looks at me, teaching me to lie

"There are white lies, good lies,
Beautiful and sad lies
They all cater to the question why
Some are planned, some improvised."

I pull my gaze away, disheartened
His words to my world like a blade unsharpened
Tearing apart what was my reality
Rapidly showing life's brutality

"Maybe it's true, maybe you're right
Thanks to you I now see the light
Maybe she doesn't love me, maybe she does
Maybe it was to her all, 'just because' "

"Yes," he answers, "it was just a game
No matter what she says, it won't be the same
She lied to you, don't cover it up
Humanity itself is just that corrupt."

I nod to him, for I know that she
Trying to hide her true self, was fatigued
And as if reading my thoughts, my mind
He walks up to me with a heavy sigh

The demon whispers, "Lie to her.
Lie to her and find someone better."

Things End As They Begin

I'll be with you watching the sun rise;
Be there waiting with you as the moon shine.
Pulling you close as the tearful sky cries;
Holding your hand wishing as a star dies.

And wishing upon its last earthly glow;
As the harsh winds disagreeably blow.
Not rain that falls from the sky but cold snow
Life may seemingly end...yes love won't grow.

Fallen Angel

An angel who lost his wings;
An angel who no longer sings.
On the day I was born, heavy rain fell;
One innocent angel was sent down to Hell.

Lost and alone, without a glimpse of hope;
Less he knew of another way to cope.
Temptation, pride, greed and lust;
These malicious sins have become a must.

His heart lingered with a void;
Happiness in his soul once enjoyed.
Gone with the bewitching wind;
His heart slowed and he grinned.

An angel he was, he recalls;
"Now I'm the sinner after all."

You Wanted It

If you're happy with them then I am too
For your smile brightens my days
And your tears sadden me, a fool
Your grace always there but unattainable
But I want to be the one that makes you smile
I want to be the one who's there for you
I want to be the shoulder you need to borrow
The hand that holds the umbrella when the rain blows
I want to be so many things
The one that's there laughing with you
Ready to catch you when you fall
To pick you back up and set you back on your feet

But I can't be the one
I can only be the one who ...
Lets go.

Angel

Inspired by a song. Dedicated to ... a friend.
--

If you come across an angel
Tell her that she broke my heart
Yet I'm still waiting for that angel
Waiting for that start ...
---

Will you bring my love back to me?
But it was just something you couldn't do
You said you weren't ready
To try something new
And it pains me to see
How you let this pass by
Without the hopes of what could be
With tears that run dry

I always said that I wanted
No one else but you
But memories always kept me haunted
After what you put me through
But I was wrong
And now I'm gone
You never knew what to say
To make me want to stay

No I won't cry anymore